Buniyaadi Zimmedaari Of A Woman

A friend of mine recently related an incident mentioned to her by an author acquaintance (male) of hers. 

When the gentleman was a young student, in one class period the teacher was showing some stuff to the students using a projector with the lights off. There was complete silence in the room until the lights were switched on after the presentation. It was then that everyone noticed a cloud of smoke at the rear end of the room that was apparently caused by the backbenchers smoking cigarettes while the rest of the class was engrossed in the presentation.

The author told my friend that such behavior of the students was not the fault of the students who were smoking during class. That it was the fault of the teacher who had been unable to kindle interest in these students sufficiently. 

My friend, having recounted this story to me, asked me for my opinion. Did I concur or disagree with the author? She said she herself had mixed feelings.

I said I understood where the gentleman was coming from. The primary responsibility of a teacher is to create interest towards the subject in her students. Without this interest no student can learn much. 

I told her I had two things to say about the opinion expressed  by the author.

1st thing:

It's generally held in conservative cultures that it's the wife who holds the primary responsibility of maintaining the family order and maintaining the marriage - she having better patience, understanding, maturity than the husband. (And the husband has the primary responsibility of winning the bread and bringing home the bacon.). Now in this scenario, where a marriage has failed irretrievably, should we hold the woman solely or even primarily responsible for the breakdown of the marriage?

Circling back to what I said of the responsibility of a teacher towards her students, that is, to create interest in her students: Not all students have interest or aptitude in a subject. Even MF Hussein wouldn't be able to create any interest in painting in me. Even Sachin Tendulkar wouldn't be able make me bat well were he to coach me. Is it then appropriate to condemn Hussein and Tendulkar as being inadequate in their jobs as teachers? Whose fault would it be that I never could paint nor bat well?

The 2nd example I would present to refute the author's idea is to take one of his own books. Let's assume 10,000 people purchased his book and that 8,000 liked it a lot. And the balance 2,000 didn't. Shall we then say it was the author's fault that he couldn't get those 2,000 readers interested and fully involved with his book? 

Any unidirectional communication (a presentation, a book etc) depends a LOT on the author to get the audience involved. Yes, of course. But then there will be some, or even many, in the audience, who have no skill / aptitude for the subject, whom the author cannot reach out to. Which Engineering teacher would be able to reach out to Raju Rastogi and Furhan Quereshi in 3 Idiots?

That there are such students in the audience is no reflection on the author or presenter.

I would consider a good teacher to be one who infuses great interest in part (hopefully large) of her students who benefit from her classes and who identifies and excuses the other part of her students from her class. 

In the same vein, a good woman is one who identifies that the man she is with is not worthy of her attention, love and care and leaves with grace before she messes up her own and his life. This, I feel, is there fundamental responsibility of a woman.
Perhaps this is what Ludhyanvi meant when he said so beautifully "wo afsaana jise anjaam tak laana na ho na mumkin use ek khubsoorat mod pe chhodna accha".