Orthopedic Songs

I had, in earlier posts, talked about horse songs, train, radio, phone songs, piano and dance songs.

This post is about people getting better while listening to songs, typically bhajans.

Two songs come to mind, both by Rafi.

The first song is Khushi Jis Ne Khoji Subah Na Aayi Shaam Na Aayi in the movie with the unimpressive name Cha Cha Cha (1964, MD: Iqbal Quereshi). The song features Helen in bed with a leg problem. She starts walking while listening to the song. Now Iqbal Querishi was one of few muslim MD's in the industry, other names that I remember being Ghulam Mohammad, Sardar Malik, Sajjad Hussein, Khayyam. But Rafi and Quershi take this song to such heights that it is eminently possible to imagine Helen getting better listening to it.

The next song is also a Rafi song. And most of us would have heard of Hari Om Man Tarpath Hari Darshan Ko Aaj in Raag Malkhauns in the movie Baiju Bawra (1952, MD: Naushad). Rafi's song enables an elderly gentleman to start walking. 

Both songs are so alike in the sense of their depth. I cannot just multitask while listening to these songs. They demand my full attention. I recommend watching, not just listening to, both songs. Maybe music will never be a substitute for orthopedic treatment in real life. But  these songs almost make us believe that it may just be possible.

We will not discuss songs such as the one featured on Nirupa Roy in Amar Akbar Anthony where she gets her eyesight back when Rishi Kapoor sings in a Sai Baba Mandir (Shirdi Waale Sai Baba by Rafi). I consider my post to be a temple and I hate to see it being sullied with such songs.

Additional reading:

• http://vbala99.blogspot.com/2010/12/old-indian-movies-songs-and-actors.html
• http://vbala99.blogspot.com/2011/02/music-directors.html

Parent Child Relationship And Independence - Puzzle

No this post is not about interpersonal relationship. It's more about orgasm - actually it is about classification. And if you are not interested in classifying ideas neatly, this post is not for you.

I am going to take this article  http://sarcasm.co/reasons-women-moan-scream-making/ as a reference. The link above is about reasons why women moan and scream louder than men during sex.

The points given in the article show a classic example of someone (author) who is a feeler as against a thinker. I have found quiet a few people who think as the author in the link above.

Anyway let me list the points given in the link as to why some women moan and scream more than men.

1. Moaning and screaming is not linked with climax.
2. 66% said they moan to speed up their partner's climax
3. 87% said they moan to boost up his self esteem
4. Researchers also found that a woman makes noise to when they are bored, tired or not feeling comfortable so you will finish faster 
5. They pretend they’re orgasming just to make you will feel good about yourself 
6. Female vocalization during sex is a good thing for guys. It’s also said that men easily get trapped by a fake orgasm.
7. They totally understand that moaning is a turn-on for guys and loud moan will turn him even more 
8. It doesn’t matter if you fake it. It actually shows how active you are and in sync with each other.
9. Avoiding silence is one of the reasons because silence can be a mood killer.
10. Moaning is an automatic response to pleasure. The pleasure you get from sex can cause an audible and involuntary response.
11. Women might fake it but they also moan when they actually achieve orgasm
12. Because she likes it and feels good.

Now, let's go through the points mentioned. 

Point 1: Is it a reason why women scream / moan more than men?

Point 4: Same as point 2 and talks about speeding up partner's climax, except it adds some more details as to why they want the partner to finish faster. 

Point 5, 6, 7: Same as point 3.

Point 12: Does it explain why women moan louder than men? And is same as point 10.

Point 11: What has this got to with the subject?

Maybe when we (need to) communicate a lot and do not much useful content, we resort this kind of elaborate communication. Good for writing 300 word essays, no?

Let's assume  I ask a question: Why is John a better boy than Fred?
Let's jot down some answers:

1. John behaves better than Fred
2. John's parents inculcate good behavior in John
3. Fred tends to lie and steal.
4. Fred steals money to buy icecream
5. Fred's father comes home drunk often
6. John's grandfather was a parish priest
7. Fred's mother still doesn't know who his father is.
8. Fred tends to bully other boys.

Now the question why John is a better boy has two aspects?

a) How do we say he is better - meaning the symptoms

b) We agree that John is a better boy but we want to delve into why he is a better boy meaning what caused him to be a better boy. And these (what and why) are two different questions altogether. Some people cannot understand this. And they tend to combine the answers to both the questions under one umbrella (as in the list above).

Once we separate what (symptoms) and why (those symptoms) then we have to ensure that one reason listed, say under what, isn't a child of another reason listed under what. For example in the list above No 4 (Fred steals to buy ice-cream) is a child of No 3 (Fred steals money). Here, Child means point no 4 is derived from point no 3. It is not a sibling of point no 3. A sibling would mean that the point is independent. For example, points 3, 8 are siblings - both refer to symptoms relating to Fred not being a good boy. And the two points are independent, one being stealing and the other about bullying.

Separating the what from the why and eliminating parent child points and retaining only the parent or the child point makes an analysis powerful - from the thinker's point of view.

When we aren't very particular about rationality and where the objective is just to overwhelm with verbosity, we might list those 8 points above as to why John is a better boy than Fred.

Empathy And Generosity

A friend of mine raised this question - with respect to my belief expressed in another post that empathy and fairness rarely coexist. 

She pointed out examples of some people she knew where the two qualities seemed to be present in the same person.

Well I disagree with her. First we need to be on the same page with respect to the definition. What you see as empathy and what I see should be the same.

So let me give my definition. Both empathy and generosity are great. We feel good when we see them. When someone feels bad, when we feel share their pain, when we feel their pain, when we reach down to their level and lend them our shoulder we are showing empathy. 

Gandhari, after she got married to a blind man, didn't give him her eyes - that would have made her generous. She blindfolded herself for the rest of her life. She came down to the level of her husband. That was empathy. We will not go into such trivial issues such as that the field of medicine hadn't yet discovered corneal transplant at the time of Mahabharat.

Generosity on the other hand, when faced with the same issue of someone in distress, tries to bring the other person out of their low level and closer to ours. There is a tangible act of giving and pulling the person out and it won't be just with words. A person who lends money (when he need not have lent or where the interest rate is very low or the collateral is substandard to non existent) or donates to charity or he gives up what is his by right, is showing generosity. Ekalaivan, Karna, Bheeshma (characters in Mahabharat) were extremely generous people. Each of them gave up thing(s). They were not known for their empathy. Matter of fact, if you read the story of Amba and Shikandi, Bheeshma's colossal lack of empathy for a woman in distress would become obvious. But when his father's fiance asked him to give up his throne, he did it in a second. 

What made Bheeshma give up his title to the kingdom but also made him very insensitive to the plight of Amba? Herein lies the difference between empathy and generosity. When it came to giving up his throne there was no one else who got adversely affected. His title was his to give up. So he gave it to his step mother and walked out. But when it came to Amba, he had to be fair. His job was to capture her and deliver her - much like Jason Statham in Transporter - to Vichithraviryan. He saw Amba only as an object. He couldn't relate to her plight. Marrying her would have been adharma - from his point of view - because of his vow of celibacy. He could not give himself, in the role of husband, to Amba.

In the movie Thalapathy, Mammootty becomes very attached to Rajinikanth and he asks Rajini to leave the slum where he (Rajini) lived and to come stay with him (Mammootty) in a much bigger house. Rajni rejects the request saying his people are poor and that they do not have anyone else. 

Now, what (empathy or generosity) was Mammootty showing? He was being generous. If he had shown empathy then he would have left his house and gone to stay with Rajini.

Going back to Karna in Mahabharat, when his mother asked him to leave the Kauravas and join their enemies, his Pandava brothers, he refuses his mother's request - based on his sense of right and wrong - because Duryodhan (the head of Kauravas) had helped him when no one else did. Karna did not show empathy towards his mother. But when she asked him not to harm his Pandava brothers other than Arjun, he accedes to her request. And also agrees to not use the Brahmastra more than once on Arjuna. That was generosity.

See the difference?

Women usually are better at showing empathy. Men are more generous. And when women want to open up and share their feelings with a man when they (women) are down, they expect him to listen and show empathy. They do not want him to solve the problem or be generous. Generosity and Fairness can coexist. Empathy and Fairness cannot by definition. Generosity and empathy do not coexist in the same person, not at least at the same time.

When we are down on our luck and we approach a person for help and if that person:

• Lends you money or donates money or stuff (with terms as explained before) he is being generous
• says she feels bad for you and will perform a pooja for you also when she visits Tirupati temple next week or she leaves all her work just to be with you - she is showing empathy.

Which one is better? I do not have an answer. Some situations need empathy to be shown. Some need generosity. The worst thing is that each of us is capable usually of showing one or the other. Not both. 

Finally I have a strange thought. Does Generosity need an absence of empathy as a pre-requisite? Incidentally, when I googled I couldn't find relevant links on difference between empathy and generosity.

A great example of empathy:

One of the most beautiful scenes depicting empathy is the one in the movie Godfather at 2h:01m:20s. Tom tells the Godfather that Sonny has been shot and killed, Godfather's shows extreme anguish and then he goes to Tom and hugs Tom in order to console Tom. 
When does a man who has just learnt that his son has been murdered find the time or the courage or the sympathy to console the man who has just the delivered the bad news? Amazing...

Another example of empathy is shown by the author of the article on death of children in a Bihar government hospital because Pushpa stopped supplying Oxygen Cylinders to the hospital because of non receipt of dues from the hospital: http://www.firstpost.com/india/gorakhpur-is-a-legal-tragedy-too-laws-needed-to-regulate-states-casual-attempts-at-dealing-with-private-vendors-3930677.html - the author states that the government should have mechanism in place to ensure that private suppliers do not get to stop supplying essential stuff such as electricity, oxygen cylinders just because payment has not been received. The author makes a case for the suppliers to have empathy and get down to the same level as the customer. Lot of empathy and F (as in MBTI) in the author. As to how the supplier will run a business in the absence of money is something the author has neglected to ponder upon - perhaps the same way that government hospitals do when they don't get much money from the poor patients. Meaning run a long subsidy chain - I subsidize you, you subsidize someone else, and so on. God will take care of financial issues and P&L etc. Empathy doesn't understand fairness.

Additional reading:

• https://sashadichter.wordpress.com/2011/09/30/generosity-and-empathy/
• http://www.nexthumanproject.com/references/Empathy_Towards_Strangers_Claremont.pdf
• http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_avoid_regret_in_your_social_life?utm_source=Greater+Good+Science+Center&utm_campaign=83dc817c32-GG_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_05_24&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5ae73e326e-83dc817c32-51673647 - people who constantly optimize their choices are less happy apparently - unbelievable. Is that why women are less happy than men on the average?

Flight Schedule Puzzle

This is from the newspaper today. Indigo has announced flights to Doha in Oman. Usually flights spend no more an 20 minutes to 2 hours before getting on the air again, otherwise they won't make money.

If you look at the TT (timetable) below, the flight from Chennai arrives at 2:45PM at Doha and leaves Doha  at 14:30 - almost 12 hours later. Does this violate the max 2 hr wait mentioned above?

All times are local times.

Understanding Humans And Animals

I had earlier written about the differences between man and animals. Here is another post on why human being experience so much pain.

There are some posts I have read, especially in thehumanevolutionblog, which are fascinating. 

A friend sent me this interesting post on ants: http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2013/02/shhh-ants-are-talking

He said that with the paucity of smaller animals to feed on as the forests are depleting, there was enough force to trigger an evolution. I felt that lack of food could also end up perishing a species. That raised an interesting question. When does a species perish and when does it evolve and survive? He raised one more question: If Apes evolved into humans, why are Apes still existing?

Human beings's fear of spiders and snakes is not learnt: https://newsstand.google.com/articles/CAIiEISnw8jFqO58PEgZn8bXX78qFggEKg4IACoGCAowl7gmMPL_BTDy-ws

A tree map showing how humans have evolved is lovely here. The image itself is here.

What are animals thinking and feelings: (lovely video on talk by Carl Safina):https://www.ted.com/talks/carl_safina_what_are_animals_thinking_and_feeling?utm_source=whatsapp&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=tedspread--b

Are males (in humans) better than females in logic and maths? An interesting debate:  https://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/debate05/debate05_index.html

Sex and the  spotted hyena: http://www.nature.com/news/1999/991019/full/news991021-7.html

Even the earliest humans were largely right handed: https://thehumanevolutionblog.com/2016/12/05/even-homo-habilis-was-right-handed/


Did Neanderthals have gender roles?: https://thehumanevolutionblog.com/2015/04/12/did-neanderthals-have-gender-roles-in-their-division-of-labor/?blogsub=subscribed#subscribe-blog

Bonobos and sex: https://www.google.com/url?hl=en&q=https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sex-dawn/201202/7-things-bonobos-can-teach-us-about-love-and-sex&source=gmail&ust=1494650273337000&usg=AFQjCNEJJwolYpIuJ59VF6vCEUG3_unBew

Charming personalities of Barbary Macaques: https://thehumanevolutionblog.com/2016/04/04/the-charming-personalities-of-barbary-macaques/ Quote from there: "The next stage of my analysis uses the framework of the social-niche hypothesis to study the relationship between personality and sociality. This hypothesis predicts that individuals should assort themselves based on personality. Evidence for this has recently been demonstrated in great tits, with more shy individuals tending to associate more frequently and form stable social relationships with other shy individuals."

Quite a bit of learning happens socially (in animals also) meaning they learn from others: https://thehumanevolutionblog.com/2017/02/07/social-learning-in-animals-implications-for-the-evolution-of-human-intelligence/

Apparently some species of snakes hunt in packs: http://www.abc15.com/news/national/wait-what-scientist-discovers-snakes-that-hunt-in-packs

Sexual behavior of peahens: https://scroll.in/article/839419/everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-peafowl-sex-by-a-researcher-whos-spent-a-decade-studying-it

Marmosets develop regional dialects: https://thehumanevolutionblog.com/2017/11/14/marmosets-regional-dialects/ 

Do not disturb gesture in Mandrills: https://thehumanevolutionblog.com/2015/08/12/the-birth-of-a-cultural-meme-the-do-not-disturb-gesture-in-mandrills/

Sheep recognize human faces (picture of Obama): https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2017/11/07/sheep-learn-to-recognize-photos-of-obama-and-other-celebrities-neuroscientists-say/?utm_term=.04c35c002dab\

Birds use cigarette  butts to drive parasites away: https://www.newscientist.com/article/2138655-birds-use-cigarette-butts-for-chemical-warfare-against-ticks/?utm_source=NSNS&utm_medium=ILC&utm_campaign=webpush&cmpid=ILC%257CNSNS%257C2016-GLOBAL-webpush-cigarette-ticks

Crows are intelligent: http://www.thehindu.com/sci-tech/science/the-humble-crow-is-far-smarter-than-we-thought/article19524598.ece

Apes are misunderstood: https://newsstand.google.com/articles/CAIiEMoowKP5rMSe0QNWutjB5zcqFwgEKg8IACoHCAowpbDpAzCm_hwwj9kp

Girl Asked To Remove UI (Upper Innerwear) While Writing NEET

This is the background story. 

CBSE has decided to suspend some staff and asked the principal of a school to apologize to the student who was asked to remove her upper innerwear  (UI) during the recent NEET exam. This incident happened at Kannur in Kerala. 

While we all feel sorry for the ordeal the student went through before an important exam, I am focusing on the aftermath of the incident.. 

Why all this hoopla about metal detectors and hooks in straps to jeans buttons to earrings being taboo?  I guess it was as a result of some previous incident (2015?) when a while lot of cheating happened. This dress code was put in place in order to prevent such incidents of cheating in exams. 

Having decided and communicated to students and parents and to invigilators that certain objects were not allowed inside the exam center (i assume authorities did inform all concerned including students), some students did come wearing objectionable stuff to the exam. What were the invigilators to do? Allow the students inside with metal hooks, buttons and what not?  No,  they frisked and asked the violators to remove the objectionable items.

The girl in question was frisked by women (not by men). She was asked to remove her UI (Upper Innerwear). Did the invigilators do anything wrong? Perhaps the girl was asked to change to something that didn't have metal or other non allowed stuff. Well most people don't carry extra UI to an exam and I guess the girl didn't have a spare, especially one of the kind that would pass muster. 

When CBSE passed this order, did they not envisage such a possibility (re UI)? Were there not any women in the panel?

By taking action on the Kannur school,  CBSE has sent a strong message. Stakeholders (Executive agency) will be held responsible for any ugly incident arising out of carrying out its own (Legislative) orders.. 

United Airlines was in the news recently when it asked some ladies (United Airlines staff traveling as passengers) who were wearing leggings to change their dress because such leggings were in violation of the dress code of the airline. But

Even if the CBSE dress code itself was ill conceived, Instead of taking the blame on itself, CBSE has taken the small people and made them scapegoats. Bravo.

Recipe - Mango Thokku And Avakkai

Thokku:
Grate mango. Roast methi,  fry solid hing and then powder both by hand grinding just as in Puli milagai. 
Fry mustard, red chilli powder,  salt,  haldi powder, add grated mango and keep frying. Add powdered methi and hing. Grated mango has to be fried for about 25 minutes in medium flame. பச்சை வாசனை போக வேண்டும். (Raw smell has to go.)

The ratio of mango (grated, not cut) and chili powder and salt will be about the same as for avakkai pickle (see later). Note that there will be no kadalai or mustard powder nor a 3-4 day soaking period. This one gets done in about an hour. Transfer from frying kadai to a bottle (porcelain or glass only. NO plastic container for any pickle. 

Mustard fried.

Grated Mango - 4 numbers from my mango tree

Roasted Methi and Fried solid hing being ground. Til oil container to the left.

Grated mango being fried in til (gingelly) oil

Chili powder and salt added. Also powdered hing and methi and haldi powder. Add sufficient til oil

Keep Stirring and frying. That's it

Avakkai Pickle:

1. Take cut (and peeled) avakkai
2. Avakkai: chili powder : salt : mustard  powder = 3:2:0.67:1 = 9:6:2:3 by volume. For 3/4 kg mango about 0.5 liter Idhayam gingingelly oil needed. Grind small mustard to create mustard powder, the smell is apparently better than with large mustard.
3. Mix the powders in gingelly oil after adding a little oil until it becomes a paste. Then add mango, add more oil until it becomes like gravy. 
4. Add koththu kadalai (black karuppu konda kadalai) - about a 50-100gms. Add one teaspoon methi also. 
5. Let the mixture soak for 3-5 days. 
6. Stir the mixture everyday during that time while adding til oil each day.

Note:
Store in a cool dark place. Stir every month and add some gingelly oil once in a while. You can buy mustard, red chilies and grind in a mixie to make the respective powders. When you mix on the first day add a little less of the powders than mentioned. Each day when you mix well and add oil, taste the WIP (work in progress) pickle and add extra powder as necessary.

This is how the container has to "packed" to keep it cool and away from light - for 3-5 days. The top is wrapped with a cloth

Avakkai - soaking in yummy கடுகு பொடி (mustard powder) and gingelly oil and salt, chili powder etc. After 3rd day.

After 6 days

Stored in a Glass Bottle - Never in Plastic container.

Stir avakkai once in 2-3 weeks after adding gingelly oil, if necessary.

Additional reading:

• http://vbala99.blogspot.com/2017/02/recipe-puli-milagai.html
• http://vbala99.blogspot.com/2016/08/making-sambar-and-rasam-powder-and.html
• http://vbala99.blogspot.com/2015/08/a-list-of-indian-mostly-tamil-lunch-and.html

Recipe - Mor Milagai And Manathakaalikkai Vethal

1. Cut green chilies into one inch pieces. 
2. Dip green chilies in butter milk. Add salt and hing powder to the butter milk. Should soak for 4-5 days outside in cool area.  
3. Then remove green chilies and dry in sunlight for few hours. 
4. Put dried chili back in the same buttermilk and let it soak overnight. 

Repeat steps 3-4 everyday for a few days until all butter milk is absorbed by chilies or manatha kaalikka veththal. Green chilies should become white. I do not know what color manatha kalikka vethal should become. 

Finally store the by now crisp milagai or manatha kalikka veththal.  Fry it and serve.

Cut into 1" pieces

Dipped in buttermilk

After 3 days of soaking

Buttermilk and Green chili - both being dried in the Sun. I think buttermilk is dried so that the salt can be absorbed better by chilies when the latter is soaked in the former later in the day,

I use a cover for both buttermilk and green chilies (milaga) so birds and insects don't mess with them.

Final Mor Milagai (molaga or molagai) - Its Crisp

Touchiness

Are animals touchy?

Touchiness is something which human beings have and it's counter to living and breeding successfully. 

Look at any animal. Especially a hyena. Is it touchy?  It lives by attacking and stealing someone else's food. If the need to live and survive and reproduce is strong, one cannot and will not be touchy. 

So why did we humans (at least some of us) become touchy? Touchiness is the tendency to switch off / stop a necessary activity in life out of anger or hurt. The activity that we stop could be holding on to a friendship, eating, working - any of the things that we need to do to live. 

Touchiness has its roots in shame. Not in anger, sadness,  hatred, vindictiveness. Why do touchy people feel so much shame? i don't think Touchiness causes shame. It's the other way around. 

is it that they hold themselves to a very high standard and hence feel shame when they don't achieve it? Touchy people's claim to fame is in restraining themselves from pursuing happiness. Is it their proclivity to shame that prevents pursuit of happiness? Do touchy people have a self sabotaging mechanism preventing them from achieving their potential? 

Touchy people aren't happy people. One cannot be touchy and happy. Happy people choose what they want to do and actively pursue those activities. 

While i thought most touchy people were IJ (introverted judging as in MBTI), i have come across couple of extroverts and one P that are touchy. 

Interesting Puzzles

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/apr/24/did-you-solve-it-the-wrestler-the-wind-up-clock-and-the-pickle-jar