The Queen Is King

Most of us, both thinkers and feelers, think we are in control of our emotions. That we process what we hear and see and that we process the sensory information and inward communication through our S2, rather than though S1. (For an  understanding of S1 and S2 read http://vbala99.blogspot.com/2017/10/thinking-fast-and-slow-daniel-kahnemann.html)
Inward communication refers to what we receive unlike outward communication which is what we transmit.

If such was the case how do we get irritated with others. Or angry or pleased?

If S2 was handling and managing all communications with external parties strictly with no input from S1, how can we get irritated or angry or happy? 

When a computer plays chess and wins, does it feel thrilled? When it loses does it feel sad? 

How do our feelings come out if we were processing things only with S2?

Is it not the truth that even if S2 was front ending everything, the show is managed really by S1? Whenever we talk to people, our S1 is actively involved in the background creating the emotions which S2, if it is up and running at all, tries to keep under control. 

Our non-verbal responses to communication with us is handled by our S1. Our verbal responses are to some extent tempered by S2.

S2 serves to guard our S1 from f***ing up. No matter how strong you think your S2 is, after taking some amount of pummelling it gives up, it gives in to S1. As Daniel Kaufman says, S2 is effortful and lazy. 

Do we agree that people can make us, even Thinkers, feel thrilled or wild with fury if they addressed our S1 appropriately, through flattery, insult etc. 

When it comes to outward communication, Thinkers are, unfortunately, wired to appeal to others using their rationality - a rationality that is usually wasted on feelers. Thinkers try to best present what they have to say logically not appreciating the fact that the audience may have little interest in using their S2 to process the inputs from the thinker.

Feelers, on the other hand, use their S2 to identify how best to communicate with the audience and reach the audience's S1. They know where the seat of power lies in the audience. 

The intelligent feelers know whether to focus on the audience"s S1 or S2 and package the message accordingly. The intelligent thinker logically explains his communication which is often lost on his audience.

Essentially, if you are not aware of and not addressing someone's S1, you are wasting your time. This is what EQ, Emotional Quotient, is all about. Emotional intelligence beats IQ hands down for effective communication.

Who is now set up for success in communication? Thinker or feeler?

Tailpiece:
Successful communicaton is essential to survival. The struggle to survive replaces Innocence with maturity (maturity= EQ).

Extreme consequences can restrain the exercise of your preferences.