A friend asked me if it was possible to overcome loss. I replied that with time the loss becomes a distant memory and the pain less. And that to overcome any problem, you just needed a bigger problem to focus on. I was glad to extend my help and create a big problem for her.
She declined my offer and said that it was good to remember past things. She didn't want to get distracted by new problems.
It struck me. When we feel we can't overcome a loss, we may be also enjoying the memory. And the sweetness of the memory may surpass the pain of the loss. Hence we choose to remember the loss (and hence the sweetness too).
It's nice too to enjoy the memories while grieving for the loss at the same time - double emotional orgasm.
It's nice too to enjoy the memories while grieving for the loss at the same time - double emotional orgasm.
That leads me to another friend who talked about another friend of hers. (Read background: https://vbala99.blogspot.com/2020/01/divorce-yet-no-separation.html.)
The latter after her divorce insisted on staying with her ex. The latter told my friend a. That she loved her ex-husband (strength) and would stay with him because he wanted her to and b. That she couldn't live alone (a weakness).
Of course, don't we all portray our weaknesses as our strength or our pleasure as our pain.
A 3rd friend who teaches in a school told me that her principal enquired about two ex-teachers X (a lady) and Y (a gentlemen). My friend keeps in touch with both X and Y, hence the principal's enquiry. My friend told me the principal would never take the lady X back while she would welcome Y with a red carpet. I thought this was discrimination. Both X and Y had earlier resigned from the school in non-amicable circumstances. Why then would one of them be welcome and the other not?
My friend patiently explained to me.
X quit and joined a competitor. That's DROHAM (=treachery). That's ugly and unacceptable
Y quit to cook and serve his elderly father. That's 😇. So very much acceptable.
It's emotions that run our lives.
Nothing changes!
Lagniappe:
The movie 6 days and 7 Nights seems to take a lot from Gods Must Be Crazy II
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