Existing Or Living

A friend asked me a question: Are we really living our lives or just existing?

Well, I came up with a formula or definition to decide whether you or I or anyone for that matter is living or existing.

I tried different definitions:

A. A person who is just doing things mechanically or routinely without any emotions vis-a-vis someone doing stuff that makes them happy. The former may be only existing while the latter will be living. My friend thought that this may be a good definition. I applied this definition to 2 people in her life - both males - one of whom who lived only for himself and generally undependable and irresponsible would then be found to be living and the other one who was the opposite, as per the definition, only existing. My friend thought about it and said "Next" (meaning asked me to come up with another definition, the current one didn't seem right to her).

Next definition:

B. Would a person rather be doing (substantially) something else in their life rather than what they are currently doing? If yes they are existing, else they are living.

Another definition:

C. Being useful to others vs not being useful. This definition can be redirected towards either A (doing things with and without emotion) or B (would a person be rather doing something else or not). 

An interesting point out here is: should the question of existing or living be decided based on how the person makes a difference in the world or by how they feel internally.

Definition C uses an external mechanism while A and B use an internal mechanism.

At this point in time, we had to reflect and decide the route we want to take. Is it going to be external or internal? 

We decided that it was internal. My friend said that a person who is happy and enjoying everyday of their life is living. I said that a person who has a purpose, whatever that may be, and working everyday towards that purpose is living. And I felt that it didn't matter in either case (whether it's being happy or having a purpose) whether the purpose was self centered or doing good for others.

And just as my friend and I had different views on what was living, other people could have some other definition of living.

The bottom line was that the definition could vary from one person to another. Each of us has a different yardstick with which we measure ourselves and everyone else.