Often while talking to people who seem depressed or lacking in self esteem we tell them to place more emphasis on how they look at themselves and less on how others look at them. "We shouldn't look for approval from others. It's what we think about ourselves that matter, we should feel good about what and who we are."
Somewhere along the line we also tell people to do unto others what you would like them to do to you, to think of how others feel, to empathize and put yourself in their shoes.
The obvious question that arises in a thinking mind is whether empathy and self esteem can at all coexist. Whether it's possible to put yourself in someone else's position while simultaneously thinking "I don't need your approval or even your happiness, my happiness or what I think matters much more".
For the person who believes in a balance between extremes it may seem that what we should do and what we are would be like a pendulum.
Imagine a pendulum that moves from arrogant to depressed. When we are at the arrogant end, we ought to display more empathy and when we are at the depressed end we should display more self esteem.
It's intuitive that humans would do exactly the opposite - showing self esteem while arrogant and while trying to be nice to others and being constantly empathetic we end up being depressed.
The pendulum metaphor essentially expects human beings to do the opposite of what comes naturally to them. Because both arrogance and depression are non-normal states needing a behavior that upsets the state of equilibrium.
No comments:
Post a Comment