Can't You Take A Few More Steps

Recently a friend of mine asked his sister whether she couldn't take a few steps to help him out. It happens that she had done plenty for him in the past.

I was reminded of a scene in the old Tamil movie Sumai Thangi where L Vijayalakshmi tells her brother Gemini Ganesan, the hero of the movie, that he has done so much for her in the past. When I thought she would then consider repaying him, she requests her brother to do her one more favor.

This idea of asking one more favor after many or taking a few more steps after many is something i haven't been able to digest. It comes easily to some people, especially to people who are generally very empathetic!

Children Want It. (I don't)

I was watching this reel today. It shows a mom telling dad that it's mother's day and that the children, two young boys, want to present an expensive necklace to the mother. The father is convinced by everyone, much to his irritation, that he has to go to the mall to purchase the necklace that the boys want to present to their mom on mother's day. Of course the mother is doing it all for the boys, not for herself. 

This reminded me of a discussion i had with a female friend who was a Hindi teacher. She told me one day that that particular year was very hard on her then seven year old daughter and she had been telling her husband to take them all to a nice hill station, Kodaikanal, for the summer. 

I told her it was expensive to go to and stay in Kodaikanal and asked her if it was really necessary. She said it was absolutely. The child really needed a break. 

I suggested that her husband could take her daughter to Kodaikanal and she could stay home instead, considering that it was the daughter who badly needed a break and that she herself, just like the mother in the reel above, wasn't keen about it for herself.

Guess what my friend's reaction was to my suggestion that husband and child could go without her. "A ha ha ha, why should I not go?"

Whether it's a necklace or Kodaikanal or maintenance for the child in their custody, they can make a good case for "it's not for me at all, it's for..." Now the final question over which i have lost all my hair: At what age do women learn to project their own needs on somone else?