Men get to know a woman for a long time (3 minutes) before they ask for sex (or propose marriage). Women reject the proposal for sex / marriage immediately.
Men wonder why. What did they do wrong? Now women dislike jumping into sex/sex chat after 3 mins. For women, sex is a culmination of feelings towards a man. While for men, sex may be the initiator of feelings towards women.
If only men waited patiently, they would be more likely to get exactly what they wanted... but by speaking out too soon, they blow it.
Same way by being too direct and saying NO soon and lacking diplomacy, some people blow it. While there are people who say NO or "fuck you" in a more effective way. Without the other person even realizing that he was said NO/Fuck You to...
If effectiveness/efficiency is about getting what one wants soonest and with the least effort, then does asking for sex directly or saying NO bluntly qualify as being that? Human beings seek things that are packaged well. Most people accept poorer content as long as the packaging is fine. I heard of a study where patients were much more likely to file a malpractice suit on an irascible doctor than on an amiable one. One just doesn't have the heart to harm a "nice guy".
How much do these blunt guys lose out in life? Very few people can tolerate them and they are considered an a**hole by people around them. I am reminded of a Thirukkural poem.
"Iniya ulavaadu innadu kooral
kaniyiruupa Kaaikavarn dhattru."
Translation: Saying harsh things when there are nice things to say is like eating a raw fruit when there is a ripe one. (Pardon me if there is a mistake in the rendition of the original or in the translation).
So why are some people blunt/harsh? Why don't they couch a NO in a more acceptable form? Perhaps such people see truth and content as much more important than the form in which it is presented. They have not learnt the importance of form or packaging.
Poor idiots. Sad that they keep making the same mistake over and over again.
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