I, Me And Myself And My Inner Child

A friend sent me these very interesting links:

• Loving oneself: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/02/im-cheating-on-my-partner-why-you-should-too/
• Inner child:
• https://lifelabs.psychologies.co.uk/users/3881-maxine-harley/posts/3351-is-your-inner-child-messing-up-your-relationships
• http://www.healyourinnerchild.com/
• http://www.healyourinnerchild.com/Book-Content/inner-child-healing-techniques

She also sent me this (copied from some site):

But, sometimes childhood experiences are traumatic / shocking or too painful for the little mind to deal with. Then the inner child that grows within us is angry, upset, confused, unable to attract healthy relationships etc. Unfortunately, these people blame themselves, or allow others (especially people in authority / or the ones who did the abusing!)

Two categories of personalities emerge from Inner child issues or more commonly known as Childhood Trauma. The ‘Victim’ mentality and the ‘Rebel’. The ‘Victim’ usually is a sacrificial lamb. He surrenders unhappily to the will of others, is easily dictated by parents / elders / bosses, though his inner voice or his True self may be saying the exact opposite. They blindly follow orders and live by social norms. These people are introverts and rarely have friends. They have trust issues with everyone and look at every relationship with the eye of a Laser beam!!

The Rebel is unusually brave and can take risks of all kinds. They are detached from everyone in general and have superficial relationships. They too do not trust anyone but can be friendly in a superficial way. They hardly have any close friends. They build a wall of defense around themselves to shield from hurt and they do not like to cry. When they grow up the wall becomes stronger and bigger and they are unable to break it.

Making the transition from head to heart: https://www.lifepositive.com/moving-from-head-to-heart/ by Suma Verghese: Quotes from this article:

Capitalism, for instance, is motivated primarily by the profit factor, which means that many of its decisions can be and are unethical, unprincipled and even inhuman. In this scheme of things, the best way to improve the bottomline is to sack the employee.

Violent revolutions such as those that took place in France and later in Russia were dictated by head thinking and not heart thinking. 

Head thinking, on the other hand, gives rise to endless complexities, for it is unable to see things as they are. Hence there will be contingency plans for everything, uniform rules and regulations for all situations no matter how dissimilar (such as, for instance, insisting that your 16-year-old returns home after a party at the same time as she did when she was 12) and extremely complicated procedures.

I had earlier written about another article by Suma Verghese. I remember even the earlier article had assumed that acts of terrorism / violence were created by head thinking - something I strongly disagree with. Comment by Matt is interesting. It goes into the imbalance between head and heart which apparently is caused due to ego in head based thinkers. Aaron's comment is a good rejoinder on the article.

On ego: http://drsircus.com/spiritual-psychology/the-ego-as-the-root-of-conflict/

After reading the article, I started thinking. Can ego and empathy coexist at the same time? If at a point in time, we are reacting to our ego, we are not reacting to our empathy and vice versa. Ego comes out of competitive thinking. Me vs you or me vs others. Does this come from the heart or the head? Where is the fountain from which ego emanates?

On ID (instinctual drive) : From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego: Quotes: 

The id is the unorganized part of the personality structure that contains a human's basic, instinctual drives. Id is the only component of personality that is present from birth. It is the source of our bodily needs, wants, desires, and impulses, particularly our sexual and aggressive drives. The id contains the libido, which is the primary source of instinctual force that is unresponsive to the demands of reality. The id acts according to the "pleasure principle"—the psychic force that motivates the tendency to seek immediate gratification of any impulse—defined as seeking to avoid pain or unpleasure (not 'displeasure') aroused by increases in instinctual tension. According to Freud the id is unconscious by definition.

Ego acts according to the reality principle; i.e. it seeks to please the id's drive in realistic ways that will benefit in the long term rather than bring grief.

The ego represents what may be called reason and common sense, in contrast to the id, which contains the passions.

The superego (German: Über-Ich) reflects the internalization of cultural rules, mainly taught by parents applying their guidance and influence.

Superego, ego and ID seem to refer to Parent, Adult and Child states. Instant gratification seems to be closely linked to desire. Where is then the root of desire?

A friend sent me this link that discusses the various reasons one resorts to crime. Crime is closely linked to instant gratification. Does instant gratification or an uncontrolled ID (leading to unacceptable behavior such as outbursts) come from unhealed / distorted child?

From this link:

It is the wounded child in us that wants instant gratification.

 Nice link about Wounded Child -a Jungian Archetype.

Additional reading:

• http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_steps_to_feeling_better_about_yourself?utm_source=GG+Newsletter+Oct+19%2C+2016&utm_campaign=GG+Newsletter+Oct+19+2016&utm_medium=email: Nice
• http://m.wikihow.com/Embrace-Your-Inner-Child
• https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10154227579249513&id=563729512&refid=7&_ft_=qid.6291140921806805900%3Amf_story_key.-2575478529006902724