I was invited to attend a family function by my cousin. Since I like her a lot, I made an exception and went to her house. She is a diabetic and has had both her legs amputated (just below the knee). It’s difficult to imagine life when you have both legs amputated. You are totally dependent on someone else for every little thing. She has two sons, the elder son is older than me. The younger is mentally retarded. The last few years her been quite difficult for her. Frequent trips to the hospital. Two bouts of surgery to have her legs amputated. It’s extremely painful to go through a bone surgery, not to mention the emotional trauma of living every moment without both legs. She frequently bursts into tears.
She and my father were very affectionate towards each other. She had lost her mother (my father’s eldest sister) at a very early age. And now she has transferred the affection she had for my father to me. Today, she looked at me kindly and said “you know your father was so much more handsome and had a lot more hair”. It was cute, the way she said it. I smiled at her.
Her elder son is the only earning member of the family. He is married to an absolutely sweet girl who takes care of aged in laws (one of whom, my cousin, can’t walk) and a middle aged retarded brother-in-law while taking care of housework as well as of her daughter who is in high school. I don’t think they have a maid to help with the washing and cleaning. The girl does all this unflinchingly. The girl’s husband (my nephew) is a person with a lot of patience. He had to sell his only apartment to pay for his mother's medical expenses, he has gone through a lot of trouble looking after his long ailing mother almost singlehandedly.
My cousin is the younger of two daughters. She has an elder sister who is about 70 years old whose life has been no less difficult. Her (the elder sister’s) husband had just about every vice one could imagine. She has two sons and a daughter. Neither of the sons went to work for any length of time. The elder son had taken after his father. Both the younger son as well as her daughter got married and divorced. Her husband is now blind and having no money, has finally come to live with his wife. The elder son has also come back to live with his mother.
Her daughter (my niece) in the meanwhile has married a man who doesn't live with her but visits her often. He has provided her a place to live and gives her living allowance. The entire family (the girl’s brothers, parents) lives with her.
I wonder sometimes how and why life has been so difficult for these two cousins of mine. Amidst all these troubles in their lives, I see a daughter-in-law who belongs to a species which is almost extinct today. Rarely have I seen her express pain and never a harsh word.
And then I reflect on the life of some of my other family members and friends who live in opulence. They live in huge houses, have several maids/servants, expensive cars. I look from one side to another. I get lost sometimes.
Incidentally the elder of the cousins passed away around May 6th, 2021 after a few days in the hospital (not Covid). A couple of years back, her husband and elder son had passed away. I heard her elder son committed suicide. Her younger son's whereabouts are unknown. Her only daughter is married with a child.
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