Why is the child taking over and forcing a sub-optimal response? What is the child afraid of?
It seems as though the child is hurt horribly and is terribly scared and scarred.
What are the things that make the child overtake you and scream?
Is the child afraid that:
- what someone is saying is very hurting?
- what someone is planning to do is going to hurt deeply AGAIN? is it a preemptive strike? It reminds the child of things that the same person / other persons did earlier which hurt very badly?
Maybe the child has taken "abuse", the emotions from which were never released, vented, talked about. And one fine day. when the "abuse" happens again - it's the last straw. And a seemingly small incident creates a disproportionate response.
Types of hurt:
- being left alone to fend without the wherewithal to handle - a scene perhaps experienced often in childhood - maybe the parents were absent or unable to protect the child.
- being insulted again.
- being minimized or ignored - people are saying or implying that what the child feels is not valid. That the child is making a mountain out of a molehill.
A friend sent me this book yesterday, 3rd Feb 2017: Inner Bonding: Love and approval addiction. Very interesting. Why does the child look at someone else for approval? Perhaps from the early stages the child was "terrorized" into behaving. The author suggests that the "adult" could decide to give the child unconditional love. And that that will solve the problem. But then the adult is not "empowered" to provide unconditional love since the child was never given it in the first place. The "corrupted" or wounded child grows up into a wounded adult. Can a wounded adult heal the wounded child?
Additional reading:
- Lack of Emotional Intelligence https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2017/03/25/10-ways-you-could-be-giving-away-your-power-without-even-realizing-it/#167df8d96123
- https://drkeithwitt.com/positive-power-shadow/
- Stronger sense of self: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/do_mindful_people_have_a_stronger_sense_of_self?utm_source=Greater+Good+Science+Center&utm_campaign=d11014e4ba-GG_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_03_15&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5ae73e326e-d11014e4ba-51673647
- Cultivate a secure atttachment: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_cultivate_a_secure_attachment_with_your_child?utm_source=GG+Newsletter+Feb+8%2C+2017&utm_campaign=GG+Newsletter+Feb+8+2017&utm_medium=email
- http://vbala99.blogspot.com/2016/02/i-me-and-myself-and-my-inner-child.html
- http://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/18-effective-habits-of-highly-successful-people.html For Success!
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