Alu Jhol Sabzi

Recipe - Alu Jhol 

This is the alu sabzi to be had with poori or roti and the taste as was in KGP or Haryana railway station.

Boil a bunch (about 8 or 9) of potatoes. See picture below.

Then mash the potatoes with your fingers.

Grate tomatoes. Cut green chillies and ginger very fine. See picture below. 

Heat half a cup of refined oil Fry jeera, hing powder. Then add grated tomatoes, green chili ginger. Keep frying for 3 to 4 minutes. Then add haldi powder, red chilli powder, 2 tsp coriander powder (and salt). Keep frying until oil starts separating from the masala on the sides. 

Finally add the mashed potatoes and mix. Keep frying for another 3 to 4 minutes until alu soaks up the masala. 

Add water to make the jhol. Let the water come to a boil. Rub Kasuri Methi in your hands and add and then mix. Cook for 5 more minutes in sim flame with the kadai covered.

While rubbing kasuri methi below.

The station jhol tarkari is ready.

Tukun provided me with an easier recipe for jhol.

Fry jeera, add turmeric powder, hing powder. Add dhania powder or dhania leaves and kasuri methi.  

Add finely cut tomato, green chili, red chili powder. Add tomato and fry until oil seeps out. Then mash potato and add along with water, salt. After adding alu, fry for about 5 mins.

This recipe is simpler and easier and comes out better.

Speaking Out Aloud

I used to think that when people have a dream and talk or scream out aloud it's because of what they themselves were doing in the dream (maybe they were talking) or they had a nightmare and they screamed out aloud.

But recently I came across a scenario when a person who screamed because they were, in their dream, SILENTLY watching another person screaming and dying. 

This is strange. Beats everything I have heard.

Trump Impeachment

Animal behavior / survival instinct wins again. Goodness, correctness - those man-made things win probably only in fiction. Hooray to Goliath!

The probability of impeachment by Senate

Feb 6: Trump acquitted
Trump Acquitted of Two Impeachment Charges in Near Party-Line Vote

Feb 1: 1%

Trump’s Impeachment Is Virtually Over. What Did it Change? : Nice

Jan 31: 2%

Alexander, Conceding Case Against Trump, Announces Vote to Block Witnesses

Jan 27: 3%

Trump Tied Ukraine Aid to Inquiries He Sought, Bolton Book Says  

 "But a week into the trial, most lawmakers say the chances of 51 senators agreeing to call witnesses are dwindling, not growing."

Jan 26: 4%

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/01/25/trumps-lawyers-are-absolutely-entitled-their-own-facts/

Jan 26, 2000: 5%

Tape Made Public of Trump Discussing Ukraine With Donors

" it provides a glimpse of something rarely seen: top-tier political donors getting a chance in an intimate setting to share their views with the president and press their agendas with him."

When Do We Become Very Accommodative

Often times we are so accommodative towards people in our life, we forget that our needs are compromised or sacrificed. We explain this away by saying that we wanted peace and hence we accommodated or adjusted.

But what exactly were we doing? Why do some people make a complete mess of their life by never standing up for their own needs?

The problem starts with their childlike nature even as adult. They believe that the world will play fair as they themselves do. And they haven't learnt to negotiate, assert themselves or blackmail ("I won't open my legs if...") their way to get what they want. They depend on their environment, the people in their life, to do what is fair. 

But fairness exists only till our school life. Only when we are children are we graded for exactly what we do, how we behave, how we perform and not for what we intended to do, to behave, to perform etc. 

Changing the focus from actual performance to intention to perform is the mark of survival instinct that innocent people lack. Imagine insisting that you be given marks in your school exam because you intended to write the right answer even if you didn't actually write it! This doesn't work in school life but in adult emotional life this works. And the person who hasn't learnt this will suffer.

Now in an adult life, bereft of the above traits most normal adults  have, these innocent people are completely dependent on an environment that is fair and professional to succeed. The personal life is hardly ever professional, because emotional and professional hardly ever mix. There innocent people usually have a very messy personal life.

Such innocent people, when they come across situations of conflict, almost always accommodate because they know of no other way to address the conflict. 

Some run away or avoid such situations. Those that can't or wont, end up accommodating.

The problem becomes compounded for people who crave company or emotional connection. Such craving is usually very expensive if one has not learnt how to survive.

So what should such people do now?
Learn to negotiate?
Learn to be assertive and walk away?
Learn to blackmail?

As parents, when our child is innocent we are so happy. Little do we imagine the plight of our "innocent" children when they turn adults.

How are we, as a society, addressing the issues of such innocents? Where is the protector they crave?

Those innocent adults who are reading this: 
Did it strike a chord?
How do you feel? And react?
Do you feel your dignity has been violated repeatedly as an adult?
Do you want to change it?

Then you have to learn some new things. The world is feminine. It isn't fair. What matters more is what you say and how you say than what you do. 

Learn to negotiate, to be assertive, to "blackmail" or to walk way. It isn't easy to learn these at your age. But then do you like your life to continue as before?

Chilar Chirippaar, Chilar Azhuvaar

"Chilar chirippaar, chilar azhuvaar

Naan chiriththu konde azhukindren"

[[Some cry, some laugh, i am crying while laughing]]

This is a song from an old Tamil movie Paava Mannippu.

I have never been keen on lyrics of songs while for plenty of others lyrics is integral to the enjoyment of songs.

Today a friend sent me this:

I read this and was wonder struck. I was watching the reactions of some of my friends to the picture above.
They appreciated it. I felt nothing, same as i do when I process the lyrics above or listening to the lyrics at the top I think "yeah ok, I heard you". But these don't resonate with me. There is no emotional orgasm that other people seem to have. My thought is: Is it leading somewhere? Is there something else that's relevant? Is there something I can learn from this? When do people cry while laughing (Jokers are supposed to do that). For me these statements by themselves don't mean anything. They are, to me, just like  "Sky is blue". 

An emotional statement is just that. You ought to empathize with it and live it, not dissect it and analyze it. 

I thought how strange it is that the same thing (event or lyrics or picture) affects some people so deeply while others hardly get affected. 

I am reminded of psychopaths who commit serious crimes like rape, murder or torture without feeling any remorse. 

Divorce, Yet No Separation

Why would a man want to divorce his wife of many years but still want to continue his life with her just as before - living in the same house. And that no one is to know of their divorce.

Everything will be the same except that they are now legally not married. 

Background:

The man has an estranged first wife with whom he had a son and with whom also he is estranged. The man's inlaws (from 2nd wife) never accepted him as their son in law in all these years.

Possible Reasons:

1. Maybe because the man was touchy about his inlaws never accepting him but his wife continued to maintain good relations with her own family. And the divorce is a way of punishing the wife.
2. Maybe he can tell his son that he is no more married and hence request the son to accept him and come back to his life.
3. Maybe there is some property that would come to him or some business / legal deal that would come through only if he wasn't married (at all or atleast to his current wife). 
4. Maybe someone challenged the man that he was not man enough and could not divorce his wife. Just a "fun" thing to prove that he could do anything if he set out to.
5. Maybe the man is in love with another married woman and that woman insisted that he get divorced first and only then would she file a case against her husband.
6. The wife has committed some crime or misdemeanor (which the husband knows about) and which may impact his business / social / legal standing if he is married to her. (For example, if there is an application form that he has to fill which has the question "Are you or any family member ever...?") Another variety of this is if he had got his wife to committ a crime and he wants now to distance himself from the crime. "It was she who did it. And she isn't related to me."
7. She doesn't give me BJ's. (Men being men even this could trigger huge anger.)

Emotional Expression Is Sexy

A friend of mine, who is a tireless worker with high energy, has a problem with her foot nowadays. She currently howls in pain when in private. 

Yesterday her boss asked her to take up some official work during the forthcoming Pongal holidays. My friend declined because she had made prior plans and was going out of town. The boss, another lady, was irritated and asked my friend why my friend had not informed her, the boss, of travel plans during the holidays. My friend was nonplussed. Was my friend required to inform her boss in advance of her personal plans during holidays? Did the company she worked for have primary lien on her time during holidays?

My friend told her boss that even if she wasn't going out of town, she couldn't have helped the boss out because of her recent severe foot problem. The boss explained that my friend had better get used to working with problems because everyone else in the company, including the boss, was already working with several problems in their lives.

Now comes the interesting analysis.

My friend puts in more work and helps out co-workers more than any other employee in that company. It's just that in this case she is in such pain that she cannot do any more work. Her pain tolerance is very high and she rarely complains. She works at office and at home where they have no maid, cook and no other support (in laws for example).

With the above background in mind which even her boss knew, we come to understand how the boss thinks.

Any work done without pain doesn't count. Since my friend never expressed any pain, her contribution didn't count for much. Other employees' contribution counted to the extent of pain expressed by those employees.

This is the realm of a feeler. Tangible contribution is subservient to pain expressed. Meaning you get more rewards for doing x work with pain than doing 2x work with no pain. 

Ain't that rich? Welcome to the world of women (like my friend's boss).

Additional reading 
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/mans-emotional-intelligence-new-sexy-jrmk/

USA Strike Against Iran

https://www.dawn.com/news/1526605 - "House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has been leading the backlash against Trump's decision to authorise a drone strike against Qasem Soleimani in Baghdad, an operation that Trump only officially informed Congress about on Saturday — nearly 48 hours after the event."

This decision to take out the Iranian general and the intimation of the event to Congress in the weekend and the surprise all around in the USA makes me wonder if Trump (or some of his associates) didn't do insider trading and short the market on Thursday and Friday in order to make a killing. 

Only time will tell if my suspicion is justified.

Coming closer to home Pakistan is stumbling to determine if it should take the side of religion (Iran) or economy / FATF (USA). When you have to put bread on the table, it's difficult to stick to your values (in this case aligning with Islam).