Robert And Mary - IPE

Imagine if you knew what affected each person. For example, some people react nastily to accusation of lying, some people to accusation of embezzlement, some to being uncaring. 

Some people don't mind much what you say if it's in private, some don't care where you said it and who heard it. What you accuse them of is all that matters, no matter who heard the accusation.

Some people are rational and understand only logic. Some understand only pain. Some people focus only on results achieved. Some focus primarily on lead indicators such as effort or intentions. Some are extremely offended by the tone of your voice, some are more offended by a smile that doesn't reach your eyes.

Some people need empathy to be shown to them than something tangible. Others need tangible generosity and can't stand empathetic (SASC) routine.

If you understood all this about your audience, you could decide the best way to communicate and deal with them. If you wanted to demolish a building or to design a better brake for a vehicle, you would decide on the approach based on the characteristics of the said building or the vehicle and the environment around the building, vehicle.

The same is true when dealing with people. It is engineering once again. How you ought to deal with Robert is different from how you deal with Mary. Dealing with people without understanding the specific characteristics of Robert or Mary is poor IPE (Inter Personal Engineering). 

What's the big deal about this idea? Every man worth his salt knows it and practices it. Right?

Really? Is that so?

No. There are some people who have never heard of this idea, many more who are aware of it but do not have the skills or preference to practice it. For such people, this IPE comes as something of a shock. These people express their thoughts and do things without considering the differences between Robert and Mary. 

Additional reading
https://vbala99.blogspot.com/2018/09/christene-blasey-ford-and-brett.html