I was talking to a friend of mine about people having online friends. I guess the reason why people make friends online (than offline or in the real world) could be because:
They are people who:
- Don't have a social life in real life. They are lonely. Single/divorced/or if married, not much of a connect existing with the spouse.
- Cant go out and have a social life for reasons that are social (for example, already married), financial (cant afford to go out).
- Have a need for some warmth/stimulation in their lives.
As my friend aptly put it, these are people who need the "illusion of a rich social life".
My friend then asked me to evaluate the depth of a relationship. So I came up with a definition. A relationship can be measured on these dimensions:
This other friend also explained one thing to me. That when people come online, it's like going to a bar or to a movie. You are not going to be serious there. You want some instant fun, light banter. Not serious stuff. Hence good friendships usually aren't formed online.
Hmm. Interesting. Never thought so much about relationships.
My friend then asked me to evaluate the depth of a relationship. So I came up with a definition. A relationship can be measured on these dimensions:
- Longevity (fly by night friend as against life long friend). This dimension is perhaps a result of the other dimensions mentioned below.
- Quality of emotions/relationship (How much can I do for you.. Will I avoid you the moment I sense a problem or will I let you cry on my shoulder as long as you want.. Do I provide "Unlimited shoulder time" and/or also fix your problems?
- My availability (how much of the 24 / 7 hrs am I available).
- Another friend later added a vital point which is sharing a wavelength.
This other friend also explained one thing to me. That when people come online, it's like going to a bar or to a movie. You are not going to be serious there. You want some instant fun, light banter. Not serious stuff. Hence good friendships usually aren't formed online.
Hmm. Interesting. Never thought so much about relationships.
Quite the contrary.It is very easy to maintain a net relationship which may even seem like a " good friendship". In fact most relationships are congenial over the net as the duration of contact at any specific time is limited and one is usually confined to discussing a specific issue and if one does not agree it is very easy to say ...we'll talk later and the next time you chat it will be another topic altogether!!!
ReplyDeleteSo you could probably add one more reason why people go on the net to chat....they can cut off from anyone in a second if they don't like what is being said without any real damage to the relationship.But real life is a different ball game!!!!