Advertisements, Promises

Today a lady from one of the telecom operators called me and asked me whether I would be interested in a new wireless fixed line connection. I shook my head. She then asked me if I wanted broadband. I said No again. She changed tracks and asked me if I wanted a datacard.

I wanted to know more about her product, so I asked her. She said it gave speeds upto 3.1MBPS. Oh, I said. And asked her if this speed is what customers would get or would they get a lower speed on actual usage. The lady conceded that actual speed would be about 600-700KBPS (remember? She started with a figure of 3.1MBPS). I said 600-700KBPS does not enthuse me and I asked her where she got the figure of 3MBPS from. She responded that this what they got once.

My jaw dropped. This is what they got once? And they are advertising speeds of upto 3.1MBPS based on what they got once? You mean I can say that I am drop dead handsome because I was kinda cute when I was 3 months old? Wow.

I asked her whether her company would pay me a penalty of Rs10,000 (about $200) per month if the actual speed on usage was not 3.1 MBPS but only 600KBPS. She was quick to say NOOOO.

I am reminded of a soap advt that comes on TV very frequently these days. The message is something like this.. "Oh no, my child will not get rashes/skin problems because in my house we use 'x' soap."

Oh yeah? So if I use your brand of soap and still get rashes, will you be liable for it? Do you have any correlation between usage of your soap brand and reduced incidence of skin problems? Or are you talking about a soap that gives 3.1MPBS speed?

I started thinking. What is it that makes us fool people like this? Claim something that may not be remotely true?

I remember a time when my mom slipped and fell in the toilet and was in severe pain for many months. I had tried various doctors, medicines. Nothing worked. Someone recommended that physiotherapy could work wonders. I called a physiotherapist. He said yes, he could come and do the massage. Mom would be ok in a week. And it would cost so much. He seemed very positive. So we had him come for a week. There was no change. Mom was still in pain.

I asked the man, is the therapy working? He was positive. He said sometimes it did take a little longer. One more week, he said. So we continued for a week more. And then for a 3rd week. Still, no change in pain. It was still excruciating.

The physiotherapist suggested that we continue the massage. I asked him if he would work without pay henceforth. If the problem was solved then we would pay him the arrears.

He was aghast. He accused me of being unethical. How COULD I ask such a question? How could anyone give a guarantee? The human body is so complex. My mom is so old. Of course she could not be cured so easily. Was I out of my mind to ask for a guarantee? And so on.

Hmm. Ask for a guarantee/penalty clause then the truth emerges. Till that time you should have seen his face. Very cheerful, positive. And all the time claiming that it would be ONLY be a week before his treatment succeeded.

Is this was what communication, advertisement all about? To ensure that you convey a message in such a way that you make a sucker out of the recipient? Wow.