Dilwaale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge (DDLJ)

DDLJ is one of my favorite movies. It's a movie which got almost everything right. A plot that wasn't bad, songs and locations that were nice. Dialogs were nice. And it was one of the biggest hits among Indian movies (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilwale_Dulhania_Le_Jayenge).

While I loved the movie and have seen it a few times, there are couple of dialogs which I object to (and another dialog that I especially love).

When I say I object to the dialog what I mean is that I object to the philosophy behind it.

Let's start with the one that I love. In response to her suggestion that he elope with her daughter, SRK (the hero) tells the mother of his would be bride. That his (SRK's) mother used to tell him when he was a child "[Meri ma humesha kaha karti thi] Many a times in life you have two paths in front of you. One is easier, probably gives you early successes but if its a wrong path, you will sooner or later repent it. You will fail in life. But, the other path which is the right path may be very difficult in the beginning, it will make you sweat and cry and you may fail initially, but you will succeed in the end". 

I used to think of this dialog. And reflect on how true it was. And it was so neatly brought into the script. Very aptly done. [But the original (or at least a similar and older) version of this is in the movie Scent of a woman when Al Pacino, towards the end of the movie, talks on behalf of Charlie - that he, the colonel, always knew which path to take when at a crossroad but that he always chose the wrong path. His speech at the school is one of the most moving scenes I have watched. On par with the last scene in the Puthiya Paravai or in Parineeta or A Few Good Men.]

Now let's come to the dialogs that I dislike.

Kajol would pray in a church. SRK would ask her what she prayed for. She won't reply directly but she would tell SRK that if you pray sincerely, God would give you what you asked for.

I wonder. So you need to pray sincerely to get married to Ingrid Bergman, to become a Bill Gates? To climb Mt Everest? To win a World Cup? What utter rot!!

The next one was more diabolical. Farida Jalal (Kajol's mom in the movie) would burst out in anger. 

"We women always end up sacrificing. When I was a little girl, I had to sacrifice my studies so that my brother could be educated. When a woman grows up she has to sacrifice her needs so that her husband's could be satisfied. And later she continues to sacrifice so that her children's needs are met. A woman's life is all about sacrifices. Sometimes for her brother, later for her husband and then for her children. Being born a woman was a curse. When you (referring to Kajol) were a baby and when I held you in my hands, I promised myself that I will never let such a thing happen to my daughter. You will not be restricted from getting what you want and deserve. I will see to that."

(I may have taken some liberty in the translation of the dialogs in bold above from Hindi to English but I think the gist is retained).

Here is my question. Women in India were brought up to be good home makers. At least those that were of the mother's generation. Was the mother (Farida Jalal) planning to become a nuclear scientist or a bank president? What did she lose by not continuing her education? Did she not have a good life (as depicted in the movie DDLJ)? And sacrificing for children? For husband? What sacrifice did she make that probably deserves an entry in Guinness Book of Records? Why does she make such a big fuss? She lived the life of a well to do housewife who looked after the family and stayed home (didn't go to work) which is what most India women did (and many still do) and mind you - there were no in laws within a few thousand miles. 

The point is: till the earlier generation, women were considered to be prized possessions and to be taken care of. And hence they were protected but not given the freedom to do what they pleased. 

And today's generation of women does not like that. They want the freedom to choose. To be what they want or can. And that freedom (like any freedom) comes with a price. You don't carry (family) insurance, protection. You are on your own.

Each way has pros and cons for women (in India). But is there a best of both worlds possible? Where your father/brother/husband is sworn to take care of you always? And you also have the freedom to do what you want?

Ain't that nice?