Analysis Of Hurt: Parent Vs Child

This post is about what we normally call a head vs heart issue.

It's a question of heart (ego) affected vs the right/wrong machine in us which strongly says that our act, of retaliation in response to the said hurt, is wrong. 

We want to know which, addressing the hurt or being right, is more important:

Long term: not doing wrong is important.Transactionally the hurt ego behaves like a criminal, like a hurt child bawling, like a woman seething in fury.

And one is caught between fury and the need to be correct.

Will the transaction, that caused the hurt, recur? Quite possible. Since contrition and regret are absent in the person that caused the hurt. 

When one looks back at one's own life and the path that one traversed, we see the mistakes we made. If we could back in time and rectify it, would we? 
Though the obvious answer is yes, I am not sure. Why am I not sure? Because the feelings, that we had which guided us to making those mistakes, were genuine. And if we realize it and recant our actions in the past, then we also recant our feelings. We then have to accept that our feelings in the past were false and only then embrace that our past actions were wrong.

But we are not just an adding machine, we are part feelings (Child) and part brain (Adult) and part Parent (right/wrong). And each of them begs to be given recognition. 

And often,  the needs of two or all three are at variance, expecting the boss to negotiate a statement. And here one arrives at the crossroads, wondering which of the P A or C to be made the boss and decision maker.

Tough, huh?

When one has integrated the three (subdued two) then perhaps the issue isn't there. That's the mark of a successful / happy person.