Let's assume there are three parties in a situation: A, X, Y. They are friends, acquaintances or relatives so that there is an emotional relationship between any two of the three.
The strength of that relationship is given by the values in the cells in the table below. Value in each cell shows the reluctance in the person in that column to create a pain for the person in the row. Hence, higher the value higher is the strength of the relationship, stronger the bond.
The strength of that relationship is given by the values in the cells in the table below. Value in each cell shows the reluctance in the person in that column to create a pain for the person in the row. Hence, higher the value higher is the strength of the relationship, stronger the bond.
A X Y
In giving pain
To
A 4 2 4
X 4 5 3
Y 2 1 1
For example, take the 2nd cell in the last column = 3. This means that Y's reluctance in giving pain to X is 3 in a scale of 1 to 5 where 1 implies very low reluctance and 5 is very high reluctance to give pain.
Once this matrix is created we can see who is sensitive to pain only in self and who is sensitive to creating pain in others.
The diagonal values from the top left to bottom right refer to the reluctance in each person to undergo pain. High value shows a high pain aversion in self. And these diagonal values depend only on the person concerned - they are not dependent on any other person meaning they are not relationship values.
High values in the non-diagonal cells show high empathy. Low values show indifference. These are relationship values. For example, a person P can have a high value for a person Q and a low value = low reluctance to create pain in R.
The diagonal values from the top left to bottom right refer to the reluctance in each person to undergo pain. High value shows a high pain aversion in self. And these diagonal values depend only on the person concerned - they are not dependent on any other person meaning they are not relationship values.
High values in the non-diagonal cells show high empathy. Low values show indifference. These are relationship values. For example, a person P can have a high value for a person Q and a low value = low reluctance to create pain in R.
Given the data in the matrix above, is it difficult to see how the negotiation will conclude if A,X,Y were to sit down to negotiate? Who is the one likely to take the most pain by the decision reached by these three people? Look at row X - see how X has arranged things so that most people hate to give him pain.
Interesting, no?
Given the data in the table:
Given the data in the table:
- Who should participate in the negotiation?
- Who should avoid participation?
F and P (as in MBTI) have high values for reluctance in pain to self. And hence every action of theirs is to avoid it. Is it difficult to see that they survive better? (Read: http://vbala99.blogspot.com/2017/06/relation-between-nt-sf-natural.html)
Interesting observations:
Interesting observations:
- When people ask you whether you love them, the meaning is: how high is the call value? How reluctant are you to create pain in them?
- A person who has in his column in the matrix high values for self and low values for others is like a sadist. He may not actually do things to create pain in others but he may give pain indirectly by not doing what he ought to. This is a completely insensitive person - typically a person having a strong Venus in his Vedic horoscope. The reverse is a person who has low values for self but high values for others, he is like a masochist.
I read the pain reluctance matrix......
ReplyDeleteOh it was too good.... almost felt like reading a scientific evolution of a proposition